Second 2nd

Do you know how it feels
To always be number 2
Never be able to shine
Do you know how it feels
To always be in somebody's shadow
Well I do

Do you know how it feels
To know that whatever you do
You'll always come in second
No matter how hard you try
You'll always come in second
Like an eternal wound that keeps bleeding forever

Do you know how it feels
To shout from deep in your soul
But know that you are not heard
And you're second
Well I do

But
If you do then you understand
When the time comes for you to shine
It's always too late
The light of your soul has broke for ever
When you come in first it doesn't matter any more
Cause in my eyes I'm always second

Confusion

What can I write?

When I’ve written it all before

When am sad, alone , happy and hurt

I’ve said it all before,

But inside my pen isn’t dry yet,

I wonder what does it mean.

Have I left something unsaid

Do I still have thoughts in my head?

I don’t know whether there is more to write

Or am I just imaging this fight

Does my words have to rhyme

Or can I go out of the frame this time.

I don’t know! I wish I did

But after all I am but a human

I’ll do the best that I can now

The rest will be resolved. Somehow

Eyes Wide Open

We've been together for long
I've been so happy with you
For years it was perfect
Until the truth came out
My eyes were forced wide open
I saw what I didn't wanna see
What everybody knew from the beginning
And what I refused to believe
Lying and deceiving and not what you seemed
I wasted my years being there for you
Giving you what you need
I loved you, I cared I gave you my own
Now when it's all over am standing all alone
With nothing but shock
But now that's all over
My time is wasted but I see
The true beast that you can be
I am blind no more for that am glad
I can see the miserable thing you really are


You can know someone for sooo long and never realize how they really are, until you are forced by life to face their true self, at that moment beware cause you probably will meet someone new
that poem was written when i realized that a friend i knew for soo long isn't who i though i knew

A Show Called My Life

We do go on living I wonder why
Do we have to? what if we had enough?
Couldn't we just raise our hand and quit
Do we have to stay till the end of that show
I hate it. don't I have a say, since am it's heroine
Why don't anyone listen to me
Why do I have to be there till the end?
Can't at least I take a break
Pause a little while, to go to the restroom
Don't I have a say about it
Can't I just leave the show?
I don't like it, I wanna quit
But is it an option? I think not.
I shall never commit such a sin,
Even such seductive and sweet sin.
I shall stick to the end
Whether I like it or not
I'll stay and watch that bad show
The show called my life


P.S
I honestly believe this is one of the worst poems ever written but I'd post it anyway

The Rape

Walking in the dark alley
Trying to hurry out
Afraid of what can happen
If she didn't leave it fast

An arm is wrapped around her waist
So fast and so strong
Grabbing her with cold blade on her neck
Her heart is drumming in her ear

"Don't say a word and may be you'll survive"
Tears falling down her face
"Don't hurt me, please"
Trembling with fear she said

His fingers like spiders crawling
Down under her skirt
She tries to push back
But the cold blade make her stop

Thrown down on the ground
Feels the filth and dirt on the floor
Throws his whole weight on her
She just can't take it no more

She fights back don't care about her life
She just wants out
Feeling the Punches and kicks
She taste the blood in her mouth

The cold blade and his weight
Makes her just give in,
Just enough for him to get it over with
Pinned down the floor she cries out loud

He stands with a grin on his face
Spit on her and leave her dead
She slowly gets up, and leave the dark alley
A murdered girl still alive.

My Broken Heart

Alone I stay at night
Bathing in the moon light
Washing away all the pain
The blood I bleed in-vain
The tears I cried for the moon above
Wounds from loneliness and no love
Asking silence to come upon me
To smile when am aching
To dance while my heart is breaking
To squash this pain deep inside
Till it wounds my tears and smash my pride
I stay strong try not vomit splints of my broken heart
To try and find a new start

Inner-self

I wanna show you my inner-self
I wanna get naked for you
I wanna show you my bruises
My barely beating heart
My crystal cracked soul
My bleeding thoughts
But I don't know if you'll see it

Or understand what you saw

Or appreciate what you understood

So I'll close back my wooden cocoon

And hide back forever

Through you

I've never been in love before
But through you I've been in love thousands of times before
Been dumped and abandoned and cried of a broken heart times before
Never have I felt the tender touch of a man before
But I've had sex million times before
Lover, boyfriends and one night stands I've done it before
Through you

I am 20 going on to 70
Through you I've lived an extra 50
And never will I feel young again
Or have a first time again
Thanks to you
My life is a history afraid to be repeated one more time.

Second (2nd)

Do you know how it feels
To always be number 2
Never be able to shine
Do you know how it feels
To always be in somebody's shadow
Well I do

Do you know how it feels
To know that whatever you do
You'll always come in second
No matter how hard you try
You'll always come in second
Like an eternal wound that keeps bleeding forever
Do you know how it feels
To shout from deep in your soul
But know that you are not heard
And you're second
Well I do

But If you do then you understand
When the time comes for you to shine
It's always too late
The light of your soul has broke for ever
When you come in first it doesn't matter any more
Cause in my eyes I'm always second

Untested Wings

I am a bird with untested wings
In the safety of my nest I wait
I know I can conquer the world
If you let me
I will travel the whole world
If you let me
I will do what no one done before
If you let me
I have a million plan
A whole life waiting
For me to live it
To try it, to just do it
But will I ever be
Able to test my wings
Will I ever fly away from the nest
Away from safety to try my wings
I don't know but I hope so
So until that. I'll wait in the safe nest
Until I get a chance to test my untested wings

My Little Pretty unborn baby

Hush little baby don't say a word
Mama is gonna buy you a mocking bird
But it's not going to happen
Because my little pretty baby isn't here anymore
You left this life still unborn
You were drained out of me
Taking the juice of life with you
Never breathed our air
I will never see you again
To a better heaven you went
Leaving me with grieve and regret
I wonder if I did something wrong
To lose you and be left here alone to long
To see how you'd have looked
and the way you'd have talked
But now am left to memories and nightmares
Of the horrible night you left me and went
I am sorry my little baby I never were
A better mother in a life so unfair

I wrote that after my older sister lost her baby (she was only three month pregnant but it really broke her heart) and she always felt guilty for it.

The lost ones

Tears that slide down my face
Smile that shine on my lips
My heart is crying out all time
When you lose someone who's close
When second they're there
And then they're not
Never again will you touch them
Or feel their warmth
But then all along you knew this day will come
Today some are gone and tomorrow some
Crying for the lost ones can go on forever
But rejoice the ones still there
Before they go and disappear in thin air
But still I mourn the ones I lost
I Miss them everyday
Until one day we don't know
If they were ever there
Or just a distant dream that never were

February 14, 2008, 11:53Am

Wrote that poem after a week of my grandparents death , they both died at the same day , they weren't related or married or died in an accident it was just weird coincidence

The First post

I have tons of blogs and i think am the only one in the world who does that, all of them don't have that much of use (filled with usless junk) but i take pride in my poems, and i am kinda surprised I haven't done that earlier. maybe cause i already have a webpage or maybe cause i don't think highly in blogs in it self.
whatever the reason.
Now the time had come to dedicate a whole blog for my poetry and i will also am thinking about doing a whole blog for stories. but since i have one already dedicated for a long story. (only wrote the first 2 chapters) i don't think i'll do it at least not before i finish it.
and yet again i just might
O and one last thing Lets put the rules

Here are the rules you should follow around here

1- I don’t expect anyone to come here (except maybe z_diva , am not gonna invite her {or anyone else}) you’ll find out why in the next rule

2- If you came here, then know very well that although I don’t consider myself a big (or even good) poet I think very highly of my poems they (yes I said they not it ) are the vulnerable side in me

3- If you don’t like them. Then look up at your right there is a close button just click it and leave or just hit the back at your left (unless you are giving your honest opinion without being rude)

Can’t think in any more rules if I do I might add them, but probably wont

I’ll just start by writing old poems